Speed dating has become more and more popular these days. The challenge speed daters face is failing to leave a lasting impression and differentiating themselves from the hundreds of other people in the speed dating event. Differentiating themselves and standing out from the crowd is important. There are hundreds of participants in any speed dating venue and if you are not able to leave a lasting impression on someone’s mind, chances are you would not be the top in the order.
Speed dating tips for success.
If you are visiting one of the speed dating events near you, make sure you know the rules of the game. Right from dressing for speed dating to conversation to attitude and mannerisms, you will be judged on everything in those 5 mins across someone on the table. Learn these tips for speed dating success.
1. Dress for a Lasting Impression
What to wear for a speed dating event? People come in different shapes and sizes. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt is not what all of us are. However, you can improve how you look by dressing up well and grooming yourself carefully. Business causal or smart casual attire, that is not too formal, but at the same time looks nice is recommended for speed dating events.
For men, wearing a full suit might be going too far, but a dress shirt with nice pants and a smart blazer will do the trick. Women can wear nice dress and pair with comfortable footwear. If you are comfortable with your outfit and feel good about how you look, that would naturally give you more confidence. This would do half the job for you. Do not overdo accessories, go light on them. Accessories are considered distractions.
2. ‘Warm Up’ and Arrive Early
Getting into the zone before starting anything important helps you perform better. With that logic, warming up before the speed dating event would be beneficial for you. Arrive at the dating venue ahead of time and socialize with people around. This would help you loosen up for upcoming speed dating conversation. Some people shy away from having a small talk conversation with strangers. If you get to the event early, that will help you get comfortable with the environment. Also, if you potential partner sees you smiling and interacting, that will definitely make you more attractive than someone standing alone in a corner. You can take a friend along, if that helps you.
Remember, men or women will start looking at you from the moment you walk in the door. Present yourself with an aura of confidence.
3. No Smoke, Drink or Gum
A lot of times, the speed daters are so nervous that they feel that a little bit of alcohol would help. This could be more worse than good. If you are high during the event, chances are you would be on the absolute losing side in this. It would create a not so good impression about you and you might not even seem to be a potential candidate for the first date. If you are looking for successful speed dating tips, say no to alcohol.
Another thing to avoid before the event is smoking. Avoid gum, its not good to chew when speaking.
4. Eye Contact
Your eyes say it all. Not just to people you know, but also to complete strangers. When you are meeting speed daters in an event, it is important to hold the eye contact. People who look straight into the eyes are considered as confident and honest individuals. However, there is a big difference between eye contact and staring. Staring would make the other person very uncomfortable. Do not stare. Nor should you avoid eye contact completely. Avoiding looking into someone’s eyes means that you are not interested in the individual. Have a balance. If you are a girl at the event, study the eyes of your man. You would see signs if a guy likes you.
5. Don’t Ask the Same Questions as Everyone Else!
Speed dating is all about impressing someone within the time you get. Most speed dating does not give more that 2-5 minutes. It’s about showing that side of your personality that would attract the person on the other side of the table to have more meetings with you. If you talk or do nothing memorable in those 5 minutes, chances are that you would not be the one desired, unless you have the killer looks.
Do you think asking someone ‘What you do?’ , ‘Where you lived?’ or ‘What are your hobbies?’ would set you apart from others. Everyone asks those questions. Nothing wrong with them, but it just becomes so predictable and after a while, the potential date would hate repeating the responses for them. Don’t ask what everyone else would ask. Have some interesting conversation that would make the other person think. When you do that, you will gradually see obvious signs that the other person has begun to like you already.
The Key is to STAND OUT and BE UNIQUE. Try questions like this:
“What will you buy with the money that you will win from a lottery?”
“If you would move to another country, where would you go?”
Convey your personality as fun & interesting.
6. Light Conversation, Keeps Things Light
Speed dating is meant to be a light and fun event. Do not be serious or have conversations that are too complicated. Be playful. If you look too serious, you might come across someone trying too hard and desperate. Smile, stay positive and lively. You can be funny and witty. That would be one way to set yourself apart. There is a thin line between having fun and becoming personal and dis-respecting. Do not cross that line. Do not insult. If you find the other person not reciprocating to your light heartedness, they are probably not enjoying it. So STOP.
7. Don’t Have an Awkward Conversation
If you are looking for speed dating tips and tricks, do not ask awkward questions. The first time you meet someone, avoid talking about past relationships. Do not ask about personal life of your potential date. Questions pertaining to if you would be a ‘yes’ on the dating card should be avoided. Have patience and let the event organizer contact you for that. Do not talk badly about anyone else on the event. Chances are that they might be friends.
Avoid having discussion that analyzes their financial stability. Stay away from debadable topics like politics or religion. That never ends well.
8. Share the Time
You probably will get 5 minutes at a table on a speed dating event. People wonder how to do a speed date and what are the top 10 question to ask on a speed date. What is very important in speed dating is that you share the time given. No one likes a monologue. Let both of you have equal opportunity to share the views and ask questions. Show your personality, but at the same time give enough time to the other person to express themselves.
9. Avoid Wandering Eyes
Avoid looking at the next table to see of you have a better prospect ahead. Make the most of your time with the person you are speaking to. Looking for a bartender or across the other tables would show that you are not as much interested. If you are not showing interest, chances are the other person would be uninterested as well. Listen and stay engaged.
10. Update the Dating Card
You will meet so many people during the speed dating venue. It is not just difficult but almost impossible to remember who are the ones that you would like to see again. It would be useful to take notes about each dater. Do not do it in front of them, but make sure you have your preferences documented for later. Writing between the date, will be unconformable and irritating. It would give a message that your date is being judged. Wait for the date to be over and then scribble down your feedback before you move to the next table.
11. No Fake. Stay Real
This is serious business. Your speed dater could very well be your next date or your life partner. Do not fake anything about yourself. Staying real would help them know you the way you come. If its the fake personality that they start liking, chances are when they see the real you, they will walk away.
12. Stay Back for a Chat
If you liked someone and get the same vibes, stay back and chat after the event. It’s alright to continue chatting after the event. Go for a drink and try to establish a stronger connection that could essentially turn out to be your first date. The more your share and understand each other, the better it is for your relationship.
13. Avoid Technology
We are in a world of digital media. Our smart phones take a lot of our time each day. We have cultivated a habit of looking at it every few minutes. Avoid playing or looking at your phone every now and then. That just sends a message that you have something more important on that device than the person sitting in front of you. If you cannot avoid your phone for 5 mins when sitting across someone, they would consider it rude as well as your behavioural trait.
14. Contact Your Matches
Post the event, the event companies would send you an email with your matches. This is usually within 24 hours or as published. Once you received your list of matches, contact them and suggest a meet up for a drink or dessert. Your matches would also receive similar emails from other people. You perhaps may not be their first preference. So do not get disappointed if they don’t reply right away. If you do not get a response, it just means that either the interest level is low, or they are seeking other individuals. Don’t get discouraged if you are not successful with the first attempt.
If you go online and look for speed dating sites you will find a lot of them. They all have unique style and events that are held in various countries. Speed dating is not something that works for all, but it is worth the try. You never know you might find your life partner in one such event.
Have you ever been to a speed dating event? Share your expereinces with our readers.