HAVE YOU EVER hooked up with a man with an idea of one night stand and then been in a situation where he is lingering all morning, refusing to leave. Or perhaps following you crazily everywhere you go. If these scenarios sound familiar to you, you really need to be more careful when it comes to casual sex. A no-strings-attached sex is a slippery slope to navigate. Any mistakes, and you will have to pay for it all your life. Let’s get you familiarized with what really is a one night stand and the do’s and don’ts you should follow for a flawless one-night-only encounters.
What is a one night stand?
One night stand is hooking up with someone, a stranger in most cases, for one night of casual sex, no strings attached and hoping to never see them again. It is important not to exchange any personal information with them so they cannot track you down and stalk you later. One night stand is really a night’s affair and very rarely it can grow to be something else.
One night stand – Do’s and don’ts
– Should I, should I not?
Do it !
If you have been thinking about having a one night stand, give yourself space to engage in one. Go for it! Sometimes, people are concerned about their image and how they would be perceived if they delve into casual encounters.
however, when you do engage in one, don’t be a complete ass. Be respectful. Even if you know you are not going to meet the man again in your life and this is a quick one night stand, be respectful. Be respectful of his culture, religion, nationality and everything personal. Do not cross the line and disrespect the man.
– The location
Most people who often get into one night stands are so used to it, that they don’t care where they are heading to have sex. They can have it in pub bathrooms, on the back seat of a car, at a friend’s party or whereever. However if you are new, you would want to keep things under wrap. Going to a hotel room may be expensive, hence the choices are really your place or his. If you are taking him to his place, make sure you find him sober. Although the rule is that no personal information would be discussed, and that you would not share your address as such, in todays era it is so easy to find the coordinates of a place and know the address.
Do not bring home a complete dick you do not get good vibes to begin with. He may stalk you later and would create a very embarassing situation for you.
– The protection plan
It is always and I say ALWAYS, important to wrap it up. Bring a condom or stop by and buy one if you forgot. Casual sex is meant to be casual and not for you to become pregnant by accident with a stranger.
Don’t get caught up in the moment. Pausing foreplay to grab a condom is better than saying sorry later with an STI or unplanned pregnancy.
– Getting Dirty
Its okay to talk about your dirty fantasies in your one night stand. It’s a sexual experiment and as long as it works for you and your one night man, go for it.
Don’t go freaky by doing anything that was not clearly discussed. It would be very distracting if you do something really silly and that spoils the moment. Be careful and follow the rules discussed and mutually agreed.
– When things go south
If you are taking a man out, access if he is high or would be sober. If he is too drunk, make him sit on your couch and offer lemon water. That is being respectful and not showcasing that you are desperate to have sex.
If he is totally out, do not thrust yourself on him, just because the two of you planned to have a night stand. Don’t ask repeatedly, it will make you sound annoying.
Most people looking for one night stand are not looking for long term relationship. It is just a kick for them. However, making it explicit before the drill, that you are not looking for anything serious, would help in future. Be clear on what you are looking for.
Again when to tell him, that you are only looking for sex? Should it be right when you meet, or when you get into either of your apartments, or on the way? When? Wait for the right time. You will feel when the time is right when the discussion comes up. Its not fair for either of you to think too far, when one of you is only caring for a casual sex.
– The Exit Door
If things do not work out after getting home, find an exit strategy. You cannot be rude and ask him to leave. The separation must be sober with no one getting hurt. Make a god excuse of what you have planned for the morning and than you need to prepare for it or take a good night sleep.
Do not make lame excuses and push him out of the door. You will hurt him and also not feel good about doing something like that later.
– The Morning After
While the idea of having a morning sex may excite a lot of people, that may not be always true. Check if he is keen to go for it after the night before. Caress him softly and if he reciprocates, he may be interested.
Don’t assume that men ALWAYS want it. He may not find you attractive when he is sober. Or he may not have had a good sex last night.
– The Follow-Up
If you both find each other interesting, you may want to meet again. There are cases when one night stands have turned into something more interesting.
However, don’t commit and say yes, when you know you would never want to see this man again. Do not make false promises.
So these were some do’s and don’ts you should know when you want to delve into one or two night encounters. Keeping a check on this would not only give you what you really want, but also take care of things for future. You do not want to walk away with a disastrous sex, or carry a disease or be pregnant. so next time you think about being in bed with a stranger, you got your homework done already.